May. 24th, 2017

nemonixon: (Default)
Last night, after getting off work at 11, I went to Wal-Mart for groceries--because it was after 11--that's where I have to shop until I get a new schedule, I bought a bottle of wine, a decent malbec, I was going to watch Logan and drink it.
It was the one thing to fall out of my bag while I walked home.
I've been really tired the last couple days, a depression is coming upon me. I am aware of that.
I'm thinking about looking for a new job. I like my job, it's a great organization; but the last six months working a schedule where I only see the anyone else 9 hours a week (2-11, Tues-Saturday, and I work from home Monday and Saturday, most of the decision making people work 7-4 or 8-5) has put me really far behind in the company.
To be honest, I don't feel like I'm part of the organization as much as I'm a person who works there. Kinda of like the night shift guy, he's there, but most people never meet him. Which is sad, because when I started the familial atmosphere was my favorite thing. That's gone now, and I'm not even sure that I want to get it back.
Honestly, I could start over in the Fall, start the groundwork to re-wrangle a decent schedule ( I just happened to draw the short straw back in Feb, I could probably get a better schedule for the winter), start impressing people again, working my way back up; but all that seems like a lot of work at the moment, and I'm not totally sure that's what I want to do. Also, I don't know where I would go.
See, there are really two aspects of my company; client support for colleges (helping them plan out what they want to do) and product support (I/T stuff). And I'm not I/T savvy enough to be the PS guy, and I don't think I want to spend my life as a liaison for a bunch of colleges. I like applicant support, directly helping kids and recommenders navigate the system, but that is the lowest totem on the company poll. So, it's not exactly a sustainable job. If I could make actually helping kids and teacher/counselors my full time career, I'd be happy, but tech support for a website for six months out of the year is a far cry from what I think I should be doing with my life.
I want to work someplace that helps people. I'd like to find an organization that is committed to leaving a slightly better world behind, and I'd prefer to get the fuck out of Arlington/DC as far as work goes. I'd like to put my English degree to use, too.

I don't know.


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